


to dwell;

by prouveyrac



Series: you have to fight for what's in your heart [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: (somewhat), Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 22:14:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4978537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prouveyrac/pseuds/prouveyrac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cole brought Dorian a wooden duck, and apologized for it not having wheels. Camris Lavellan, knowing Cole brings people gifts to help them, had no clue how or why a wooden duck would help Dorian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	to dwell;

Camris had stayed in Dorian’s quarters that night. Well, technically, he was invited. Dorian needed to discuss something; Camris ended up staying. And when he ended up in Dorian’s bed, both kissing passionately enough that their mouths were bruising and fumbling fingers were yanking at clothes? Merely coincidental.

Camris woke before Dorian, the sun shining through the gap in the curtains being the reason. The first thing his eyes landed on (when he gained enough consciousness to actually remember where he was) was a wooden duck given to Dorian by Cole.

_“Cole, the wooden duck I found on my bed... was that you?” he had overheard the mage ask Cole a couple days back in the tavern._

_“No. I'm not a wooden duck.”_

_“I mean did you put it there?_

_“Yes? I couldn't find one with little wheels, though. I'm sorry.”_

At that point, Camris didn’t ask why Cole gave Dorian that particular gift. He assumed it was just something random. Though, thinking back on it, Cole didn’t deliver things to people unless he felt that it would help them, that it would ease turmoil in them.

So, the question was, why would a wooden duck -and apparently one with wheels- soothe something inside Dorian? If Camris wasn’t mistaken, ducks represented something like… luck, transition… simplicity?

Basically, Camris had no idea.

Eventually, Dorian began to stir, and it was definitely not because Camris started pressing kisses to the nape of his neck.

“Mm- amatus,” Dorian mumbled, half-opening one of his eyes to look at the other.

Camris smiled slightly. “Good morning, Dorian.”

“I’m assuming you had a reason to so rudely wake me up?” He wasn’t annoyed, not at all. Even in the midst of waking up, a smirk still played on his lips.

“Now why would you assume that?” Camris asked, rolling onto his side.

“Because I know you.”

“Well, now that you mention it,” Camris said, looking over Dorian’s shoulder at the wooden statue. “Why did Cole give you a wooden duck?”

At that, both of Dorian’s eyes opened and the smirk fell off his lips. “You woke me up to ask me that?”

Camris gave him a sheepish smile.

Dorian sighed and rolled onto his other side, his back to Camris. “I’m going back to sleep.”

Camris frowned and rolled back onto his back, staring up at the canopy. Just outside, he could hear the day just beginning; Soldiers out early to head out to train, the hum of officer voices. Camris had assumed that had lulled Dorian back to sleep until he heard:

“Are you really that curious?”

“Kind of,” Camris admitted, turning his head to look at Dorian, who was still turned away.

“It’s quite embarrassing.”

“I bet it’s not, but I’m not going to force you to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Dorian paused for a couple moments before sighing again. He turned back to face Camris and propped himself up on his elbow. “Well,” he started. “When I was a child, and I mean quite young, my mother always wanted me to focus on my studies, so I did. As most Tevinter parents did, she wanted me to be the best there was, to surpass all my other peers. Therefore, ‘focusing on my studies’ meant doing nothing but having lessons with tutors who attempted to make me get a control of my magic before I could really comprehend what I could even do. Of course my… six year old self -yes, I believe six- grew bored of this. I didn’t want to spend my days with tutors, I wanted to be out and about. And in a small merchant’s shop, not far from where my family stayed, there was just a little wooden duck with wheels. At that age, I was completely enamored by it. I begged my mother for it, and she said no. When I asked my father, he bought it to spite my mother. And she took it away. I was completely besides myself and cried quite a lot.”

Camris frowned. “Oh-”

“Now,” Dorian cut him off. “Don’t think I have spent the past twenty-four years of my life mourning over the loss of that thing. I’m pretty sure a week after the event I completely forgot about it. The only reason it was relevant was because of events that happened a couple nights ago. It had been one of those days that makes me drink myself into a stupor and sadly sit in the tavern all by my lonesome. Since it was a great night to dwell on the past, I thought of that particular event and how angry and upset that made me. Though, that attracted Cole since he… _feels_ people’s emotions when they need help, or something like that. He said something about him finally being able to help me because that is something that I have finally untangled from ‘love’. He might have said something about not letting myself hurt over that, since letting myself hurt is all I do? I’m not sure, it was quite late and I was quite drunk when this was going on.” He allowed a slight roll of his eyes and a flick of his hand before continuing on. “Anyway, we talked, he fished around in my head and told me more things that I either already knew or didn’t want to hear, and then we went our merry ways. And a day later, there was that wooden duck on my bed.” Dorian shrugged. “So, there it is. The rather dry and partially embarrassing story.”

Camris worried his bottom lip. “I’m… sorry, Dorian.”

Dorian chuckled. “For an event that happened when I was a child?”

_For that fact that you do only let yourself hurt and that you do let the past haunt you, whether it be simple or not. You believe you deserve to hurt, and you deny any offerings to help you. Even little, miniscule things you cover up._

Camris shrugged. “I guess so,” he lied, smiling slightly. “Guess I just know that, if that happened to me, I would be completely distraught.”

“Yes, as having a petty toy taken away is usually the end of the world for most children,” Dorian smirked, sitting up to stretch his arms out.

Camris watched him, his hands as a makeshift pillow for his head. _If you just let people in, the past wouldn’t constantly come back to you._

_But I will not force you to open up. I just hope one day you drop your barriers._

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading and feedback is welcome!!! follow my tumblr @ archdemoned.tumblr.com


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